It’s interesting. Some people have this inherent desire to make others happy. Others would prefer to just let everyone else do their own thing and make themselves happy. One thing I’ve noticed (particularly in Judaism) is that many people have the common characteristic often classified as being a “yenta”. They want to set people up. Perhaps it’s because we’re such a small percentage of the general population, we figure we need all the help we can get. Or perhaps it’s because in Judaism, there’s a concept that if you successfully set up a certain number of couples, you automatically have a place in Olam Haba. Either way, some people appreciate being on the receiving end of the set-up, and some can not stand it. A story that I’ve told many of you, which is my funniest story, is that of my mom and her friend Nelda. I was backpacking in Europe for the summer, and Nelda’s grandson (smart, Jewish, and handsome – as my mom related) was in Atlanta for the summer. So they trade our cell phone numbers, and that’s it – we’re stuck. Even though we’re only going to overlap in the same city for a couple of weeks, there’s no way that we can pretend we met and lie to our mom/grandmom, so we met and I gained a great friend from the situation. However, there have been plenty of other instances – the most recent being my aunt (in Miami) wanting to introduce me to her Argintinian friend’s son, who is 10+ years my senior, and is currently a resident of Buenos Aires. I mean, sure long distance can be done, but seriously?
Sometimes people make the same mistake with any “minority” dating pool. For example, the same mistake that people make trying to set up gay guys (I have a friend who’s gay, you two should date”) assuming that all gay guys are compatible is the same mistake that people make setting up Jews. There are always certain characteristics one is looking for, and although they must have a particular characteristic requirement for dating (Jewish, Gay, Indian, etc.), it doesn’t mean that everyone is compatible. On the flip side, there’s no harm in trying ;-), it just might work!
I am of the half that loves setting people up (perhaps too much), and likes being set-up. I figure, worst case, I meet someone new, and if it doesn’t work out, then maybe they have friends! I think my friends know me too well and when they’re single are forever asking me to introduce them to someone. Hard thing is that because I love hosting events so much, many of my friends actually have met each other. Convenienty though, there are always new people in and out of town, and luckily I have plenty of single friends.
So the question is – would you rather me try to set you up? Or leave you alone? ;-)
* Sidebar poll: Is it OK for someone you’ve dated in the past to set you up with someone else?
