Emotional Rollercoaster

no, I am not talking about PMS. For the record, I have been told that apparently people don't like reading about my daily activities. Unfortunately, those are the only things going on in my life, and I guess the way I view the world is not so inspirational that I have a good post all the time.

I am currently sitting in a hotel room in Orlando, FL, at the ubiquitous desk they put in every hotel room on the planet. I am facing my computer screen, and behind it, a huge mirror. Glancing up into the mirror reminds me a little of the scenes of Carrie, from sex in the city. I have a bit of a perplexed expression on my face because 1) I am not sure exactly how/what to write about today, and 2) I am not sure how I am feeling.

As of last weekend, officially, Josh and I are not together. The problem here though, is that because we weren't in the same city to begin with, I am not sure how to approach the difference. We developed together on the phone, a great friendship within our relationship, that I feel like I can't just drop like the title "boyfriend". The problem lies there - if we still talk all the time, how is it different? Josh, you probably hate me for even writing this post, but this is what I do. Usually, when relationships end, or even while they exist, there are things that get on your nerves about the other person. With me, as a Type A personality, pretty much everyone in the world has characteristics that get on my nerves - some more than others, but somehow, Josh didn't. He is a great person all around, and I am glad Leah, that you thought to introduce us.

I guess from the beginning, we both knew the relationship was doomed. The problem, was that we both were too excited about the other to let the obstacles get in the way. Josh lived in a different state (still does, for that matter, just a different different state), and is not Jewish. Those are TWO of the hardest things in a relationship - keeping it long distance, and mixed religion...Even though Josh probably thinks that it's the marine reputation too. It's a strange thing, relationships. One day, you hardly know someone, and 6 months later, you feel like there's a part of your life pulled away when you can't talk to them and tell them a funny story about what happened that day. No mom, I am not talking about when I call you and get a busy signal...

At least we got to spend time together last weekend, and breaking up was no surprise to either of us. I would've thought though, that knowing it was our last weekend going into it, it would be a lot easier to get over it afterwards - but it's not.

And no, boys, this doesn't mean I am "back on the market" just yet. I need some time. And also, it is not the beginning of a "date goyim" streak. It is the end of one. I'm just glad that since I broke my "no dating non Jews" pact, at least I picked a good one to break it with. Josh, you're great.

At risk of being too sentimental, here is are a couple of choruses that came to mind during that last part of my blog. This set of lyrics is for you, Josh:

(chorus 1)
You're the top! You're the coliseum,
You're the top! You're the Louvre Museum,
You're a melody from a symphony by Strauss,
You're a Bendel bonnet, a Shakespeare sonnet,
You're Mickey Mouse.
You're the Nile, You're the Tow'r of Pisa,
You're the smile on the Mona Lisa.
I'm a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop,
But if, Baby, I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

(chorus 2)
You're the top! You're Mahatma Ghandi.
You're the top! You're Napolean brandy.
You're the purple light of a summer night in Spain,
You're the National Gall'ry, You're Garbo's sal'ry,
You're cellophane.
You're sublime, You're a turkey dinner.
You're the time of the Derby winner.
I'm a toy balloon that is fated soon to pop.
But if, Baby, I'm the bottom,
You're the top!